“Not Broken, But Brilliant: A Love Letter to the Nervous System”

blogpost by Andrew Casselton:

Andrew is an integral part of the Freedom Tribe team.
He is a certified Neurodynamic Breathwork facilitator, a mindfulness teacher, and a UKCP-accredited Relational Integrative Psychotherapist. His training also includes Gabor Maté’s Compassionate Inquiry approach to trauma healing. With this rich blend of experience and modalities, Andrew brings thoughtful, sensitive support to each individual, creating a space of deep connection, safety, and care.

Read his full bio by clicking HERE

Polyvagal Theory: Understanding the Nervous System Through the Lens of Survival

Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, polyvagal theory offers a more nuanced view of our autonomic nervous system—how it responds to stress, safety, and social connection. Polyvagal theory describes three primary states:

Ventral Vagal (Social Engagement): Our state of calm, connection, and regulation. When we feel safe, this is where we live—able to access joy, intimacy, and presence.

Sympathetic (Mobilization): Our fight-or-flight mode. We sense threat, and the body prepares for action—this shows up as anxiety, anger, or restlessness.

Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown or Freeze): When stress overwhelms us and connection isn’t possible, we may collapse, dissociate, or go numb. This is the nervous system’s last-ditch effort to protect us from unbearable experience.

The state we live in most often isn’t random—it’s shaped by our early environment. This is where the work of Dr. Gabor Maté deeply complements polyvagal theory.

Gabor Maté and the Roots of Trauma

Gabor Maté teaches that trauma is not the external event itself, but the internal disconnection we experience as a result of overwhelming stress—especially when we’re young and dependent on others for safety. When the environment doesn’t support emotional attunement—whether due to neglect, stress, chaos, or well-intentioned but unavailable caregivers—children adapt by disconnecting from their feelings, needs, and bodies.

As Maté puts it, “The child is not asking, ‘What do I need?’ The child is asking, ‘What must I do to be loved and accepted?’”

That adaptation often shows up in adulthood as chronic dysregulation. We may live in a hyper-alert state (sympathetic), collapse into exhaustion and disconnection (dorsal vagal), or become over-attuned to others while abandoning ourselves (the fawn response, which we’ll explore shortly).

When I began exploring polyvagal theory, Gabor Maté’s teachings helped me join up the dots. I wasn’t “doing something wrong”—I was reacting intelligently, based on what my nervous system had learned to do in order to survive.

The Fawn Response: Appeasing to Stay Safe

One survival strategy that often gets overlooked is the fawn response—a term coined by therapist Pete Walker. Fawning involves prioritizing others’ needs, appeasing, people-pleasing, or staying hyper-agreeable in order to avoid conflict or rejection.

From a polyvagal perspective, fawning can be a complex blend: the sympathetic drive to scan and adapt, paired with outwardly social (ventral-like) behaviors that are driven by fear, not true connection.

I recognize this deeply. As a child, I became highly attuned to the emotional climate around me. I learned to adapt quickly, to be helpful, agreeable, even invisible—anything that might preserve a sense of safety. That pattern followed me into adulthood, and recovery has involved gently unlearning it. Gabor Maté would say that as children, we give up authenticity in order to preserve attachment. But the cost of that disconnection often shows up years later—in anxiety, addiction, and a loss of self.

My Journey: Recovery, Regulation, and Reconnection

I lived with an active alcohol addiction for many years. Now, I can see that alcohol was one of the only tools I had to regulate my nervous system—it gave me temporary access to a state I couldn’t find naturally: calm, ease, even social confidence.

Getting sober was a massive milestone, but it wasn’t the end of the road—it was the beginning of the real work: learning to feel safe without substances, and to live inside my body with some degree of compassion and presence.

Polyvagal theory gave me a roadmap. But it was only when I combined it with embodied practices and therapeutic support that I started to experience change.

Polyvagal tuning practices like vocal toning, orienting to the environment, somatic breathing, and safe social engagement helped soothe and regulate my nervous system.

Tibetan Buddhist meditation—especially compassion and mindfulness practices—allowed me to meet my internal experience with less judgment and more spaciousness.

Neurodynamic breathwork gave me direct access to emotional release and somatic processing—beyond what I could reach through talking alone.

Cold water exposure, either in the sea or in a temperature controlled ice bath allows me to come into a ventral vagal state within minutes.

Your Nervous System Isn’t Broken—It’s Brilliant

Perhaps the most healing message—shared by both Gabor Maté and polyvagal theory—is this: You are not broken. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do in the face of threat. These responses are not defects—they are intelligent adaptations.

As I continue on this path, I still experience nervous system dysregulation. But now, I recognize the signs. I know what it feels like to drop into dorsal collapse, or spiral into sympathetic overdrive, but I also know how to support myself: to co-regulate, to orient, to breathe, to connect with others.

Polyvagal theory offers hope that we can reconnect to our bodies, reclaim our authenticity, and begin to live not from a place of protection—but from a place of presence.

Healing doesn’t mean erasing our past. It means learning how to be with ourselves now, in the present moment, with compassion and choice.

Andrew is co-facilitating our upcoming retreat,

The Path of Freedom, November 30 – December 4, 2025, in Portugal.

Click HERE to learn more about our specially designed program, where you can connect your conscious mind with your deeper self, and balance the physical and spiritual to reclaim your true freedom.